Wednesday, January 31, 2007 @9:55 AM
PAIN
there comes a time when a human being cant take anymore. he or she will give in to the pressure and end his or her so-called torment.
there comes a time when you dont feel like feeling anything. you feed on sadness and anger to give yourself a dose of fake happiness.
there comes another time when we have to make a choice. try or stay. its a difficulty choice and theres no option of not choosing any.
there comes a time when we dont feel accepted by the world. thus we try to prove our existence by unsorted means.
there comes a time when you are so confused that when you look in the mirror, you cant tell who are you anymore.
there comes a time when you wished you were back to the past where everything was perfect and innocent.
finally there comes a time to ask yourself. "i had enough? or should i not fight it?".
when you say, i've lost the strength to fight, why are you constantly searching for a hope?
when you say, i dont mind being sad forever. do you really mean it deep inside?
when you say, i like the feeling of pain as it gives me a feel of this world, do you really enjoy getting hurt?
when you say, the world has abandoned me, did you ever think why in the first place?
when you say, im confused and lost i dont know who i am anymore, then why did you refuse to look at the lights to guide you home?
when you do all this, did you ever considered how the world feel?
pain is selfish.
pain is a mockery.
pain is something that tests your will-power.
he is beside her, and had never left.
they are all beside her, waiting to grasp the past with her.
he is abroad, waiting to embrace her.
love and hope is around her, waiting for her.
waiting for the day when she stands up and finally say,
"i had enough of this bullshit."
laughters and smiles will come again.
as 1 smile makes the world so much brighter.
soon..
*buzzing sound =D
this is exactly how ugly the human world is, people.
my opinion of pain.
*say anything, but say what you mean
Saturday, January 27, 2007 @10:27 AM
UGLY
this entry is very straightfoward. its dedicated to all my friends out there. you might see some things that will make you hate me, but i will love you all in the end. afterall, the phrase goes something like...
"friends forever".
i was dotaing with jonas, willy and ben just now. jonas quoted " a true friend tells you your flaws". i think thats fuckin true and i totally agree with you. who needs friends who suck up to your dick and never tell you your flaws but let you go on with it? but the thing is, people refuse to look up to their flaws. they always use the 2 common ways of escape, feigning ignorance and mantaining their egoistic features. im belong to the latter i guess. but im sure you all know i will never ditch a friend even if they had fallen to hell.
jonas leong and wilson ong. you guys had been my best buds for 12 years+ already. how many people at our age can say that? but the thing i dont understand is, why are you guys being so passive? show some emotions for goodness sake, it aint cool at all if you keep ignoring things around you all the time. jonas, no one will ever tell you this but me; you gotta stop your habit of borrowing money from people. willy, please show pride in the things you do, you need to be more ego which is like the opposite of me. dont you guys think its time to change? afterall its been too long. we gotta grow out of it right now.
to jm's clique:
spending time with you guys, is like spending gold. supremely priceless and wonderful. i sincerly hope we can remain friends till the day we fuckin dig our graves. but theres one thing. i never believed, and im sure that mothernature has never let humans choose their own friends. dont you guys you should let your friends choose you? you know what i mean right? i dont understand, why you all like to shut out yourself from other people, and just enjoy within your clique. jm,hy i doubt you guys rmb the times we talked about our dream. i was so looking forward to it but....nvm. nevertheless, i will never turn away if one of you guys ever need help.
(im sorry, i think im sounding like an asshole but i just gotta say it)
this is specially for melvin.
i cant apologise to you. cause it would be rubbish. im gonna get my retribution for doing this to you. im fuckin sorry. dammit. but i swear we will do you proud.
im sure you people are curious why joey is suddenly acting like an asshole. i think its maybe, friends are too important to me. even much more then my own family. i rmb my dad always kb me say i treat water thicker than blood. but i guess im born that fucking way.
this world is really getting fuckin uglier and uglier. looking at the secondary school students now disgusts me. im glad our level isnt like that, but i really fuckin hope we wont get corrupted by this ugly world. just always remember, even if you will hate me today. i wont turn my back.
i swear my rotting dick on this.
*say anything, but say what you mean
Sunday, January 14, 2007 @7:31 AM
Powerful Surge
alright first post of the new year. time to change the headlining style.
today was a fantastic day really, i havent felt so good and good again for such a fuckin long time. two things really, that fuckin filling fantastic Amara Hotel's high tea and this fucking rocking jamming session today.
this past few weeks was back to the same old routine of people doing their own stuffs like maple (HO big big surprise!), school stuffs and more school stuffs. singapore is like an ant's nest. work,work,work and work until the day you die you are still working. thats why only 5% people in singapore bothered to pursue their dreams. im like damn bo chup about school already but i still need to fuckin graduate no matter what. she seems better this few weeks and im like damn fucking happy about it =D
but what im really sad about is...i think i might have been given false hopes again. hmmm i cant blame them though, people share different dreams and ambitions. if i needed to blame something i gotta blame my fucking self, im fucking demanding dammit. rofl i sound damn act cool sia, like those serials where actors always blame themselves. but 1 fuckin thing i can confirm is that i belong to that world. its the only thing in life i find worthwhile. the feeling is like, you feel so dead at times but when you pick up your gear and start doing it, you feel this fuckin powerful surge goes into you. AND thats the fuckin time when you know you gotta fuckin do this for the rest of your fuckin life.
this is totally not an empty dream.
its more like an empty goal waiting to be filled.
today's jamming session really brought me back to life and made me look forward to loads of stuff in future. its really about the only thing i will wanna do. but im really confused right now whos in the battle with me, or am i just only?
no who fuckin cares, people who shares the same ideals will fuckin fight together. its the big 18 this year. time to put words into actions rather then giving empty prep talks or motivation talks that never come true like what im writing now. i wont wait till my bones turn to dust. i want it now like how a rapist fuckin wants pussy.
all i wanna know is are you in with me? or out?
*say anything, but say what you mean