Wednesday, August 29, 2007 @12:47 PM
Everything's Magic
woo. i think orange on black is cool. i always like the idea of a bright warm colour on a patch of darkness. to me it represents no matter how hard or how fucked up your life is, theres always 1 or 2 or maybe more things to look forward to.
i never like getting into trouble since young, but somehow my robust ways always find me one. i think that in our span of lifetime, the lesser trouble we get into, the happier we will live and its more worthwhile. thats why if can i would avoid arguments, getting in trouble with the law, etc stuffs stuffs. 1 less thing to worry makes your day a little brighter with magic.
i believe that
we find trouble, not trouble find you.
i dont know why somehow recently im becoming like a bitch again. but i swear to change it and be as nice and goody-two-shoes as possible as i can.
i love everyone and everything. i read a few blogs today, and i realise teenage life is really chaocheebyekaninafuckeduplanjiaohonganpuabye. schoolmates, friends from the past were innocent but since succumbed the the temptations of the evil world. well maybe its growing up to them, growing up by popping the cherry instead of making your brains or heart bigger. honestly people always laugh at qx because hes too stupid or something. but i sorta secretly admire his psychology of the way of life. its simple, yet seems retarded however the most important thing is
peaceful.
do miracles and magics happen? im not asking much. im just asking a little bit of freedom from troubles and all i wanna do is just smile everyday even when someone punch me in the balls.
that will be one day when everything's magic.
*say anything, but say what you mean
Sunday, August 26, 2007 @1:45 PM
Gift and Curses
i certainly don't believe in using people nor people using me. what i believe is loyalty. give me that and i will back your ass up all the way straight to hell. what i believe is friends, lovers or relatives who give you without asking you to give anything back. i dont believe in asking your friends out the last minute just because you need them there, i would rather it was because you wanted them there to have fun with you. i dont believe in asking your friend to play a game with you just because the game cant happen without them but because you really do want to play with them.
i believe in giving more than you take.
maybe i dont have the authority to say these stuffs.
maybe im even guilty of opposing my own beliefs.
but i think im safe enough to say this openly since recent events and stuffs makes me puke by the sight of disgusting selfishness.
people can just forget you in a moment and be a sudden good friend to you in another moment.
reminds me of a batman villian: "Two-Fucking-Mother-Cheebye-Face".
and oh i was reading jm's blog the other day. he said about why everyone's putting negative posts in blogs.
my reason is simple.
this is even the reason why i started blogging in the first place.
i simply have no other containers to vent my emotions on, i mean have any of you constantly see me in real-life having a foul mood or attituteding? im always smiling fucking around making fun of people and telling lame jokes.
im only human too so i will feel sad sometimes, theres no need to try.
NOTE: NO PUN INTENDED TO MR LIEW IN ANYWAY RIGHT HERE.
phrases of "a friend in need is a friend indeed" or "a real friend does this....,a good friend does this ......, a bad friend does this ......"
ALL ARE JUST BULL.
when it comes it comes.
next time when you get into a dilemma or trouble, try thinking whos the first person on your msn, or phone number you will try contacting first.
for me thats the best way to really find out whats the meaning of the 6 letter word.
"F-R-I-E-N-D"
or it would be just
"F-I-E-N-D".
the significance of R.
R = Real.
*say anything, but say what you mean
Sunday, August 12, 2007 @3:37 AM
The Darkest Period
i have 206 people on my msn contact list. but theres only 17 of them i will talk to. amazing eh. its not amazing actually, msn is actually like a photo album that you keep the old memories inside and when you feel like taking it out to look again, you will just talk to the rest of the 189 of them.
anyone noticed that once theres a funeral in your area, more will come? its a period of time when everything bad comes out at once. in other words. its the darkest period.
i would dare say since half a year ago, everything is going downhill for me. luck, academic, relationships, finance, etc. one just comes after another. its like a grim reaper telling me your fucking time on earth is up, last fucking warning for you. i dont really know why im still alive till today. im quite sure the pressure is enough to kill anyone.
number one. my typical poly day. either i decide to stay at home or go to school to give some face. if i go, i will eat my breakfast in the morning, change my clothes to something that wont make me look nerdy, plug in my walkman phone cause i cant afford a fucking mp3, take 3 bus rides that totals up to 1hr 30mins, walk into the classroom, think about what dinner will i be having later and leave the classroom without saying a single word from start till the end. okay maybe the only thing that will come out of my mouth is telling my maid what breakfast i want to eat. so i estimate i will speak less than 300 words from monday to friday. best of all im not sure if im going to make it till the diploma graduation. loneliness? nah its in the previous post, im popular as hell.
number two. my luck, in sec 3 i had my phone mysteriously disappear for no apparent reason. it was lost in a way that it seemed impossible. i choose 10 poly choices, only the last choice was tp. woah maybe i should call that lucky? i got into the last fucking possible choice that fucked my life up. then i would go on to lose 50 bucks for no apparent reason in my own home, and then later on my fucking hard earned money bought psp in my OWN BLOODY FUCKING HOME AGAIN. then somehow vegetable sauce can manage to slip into my laptop to deal permanent damage to my keyboard making my portable computer, not portable. and last wednesday my mom gave me ten bucks i placed it in my wallet, when i reach my destination HOW NICE, it was gone. i guess im the luckiest person in the world.
number three. i have never been a loser since from primary school to secondary school. im always good at things, i always manage to get my grades despite not studying, i always have friends around me to talk to, i always have somewhere to go after school, i will always win most of the time playing games, sports, etc than losing. since then, it has been a complete 180 degree switch to my life. i honestly cant adapt to living a loser life. sorta reminds me of the movie just my luck. in my own words its fuck my luck cheebye nabei.
number four. i have a quite long-time girlfriend already. everything has always been fine. somehow for no apparent reason, my parents recently seem to think my "upside down" life is due to her existence. so im like fucking trapped in the fucking middle like a tuna in a can and a bacon cheese in a sandwich. which side am i suppose to side on? what am i suppose to do? whose there to understand me or share my troubles, ask me how am i doing? whos there to give me a solution?
did i stepped on some joss paper or pee-ed somewhere without saying sorry so now some evil spirits is bent on making my life hell? whats happening? why everything is swirling around so fast that i cant catchup? why is everyone doing something that processes their life while im stuck here doing nothing? why cant i find a corner to stop and breathe in a circle?
why am i still alive?
*say anything, but say what you mean
Sunday, August 05, 2007 @11:01 PM
Secret Crowds
this is the new song off angels and airwaves track, it fucking gives me chills. too too fucking good musically and even lyrically.
If I had my own world
I'd fill it with love and desire
My heart is the past you admire
And voices of kids out walking dogs,
Birds, planes, trees and cars
If I had my own world
I'd love it for all that's inside it
There'd be no more wars, death or riots,
There'd be no more faiths, packed parking lots,
Guns, bombs sounding off,
If i had my own world
I'd build you an empire.
From here to the farmlands
to spread love like violence.
If i had my own world (If i had my own world)
I'd build you an empire.
From here to the farmlands
to spread love like violence.
Chorus:
Let me feel you, carry you higher
watch our words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear you voices, sing back louder.
If i had my own world
I'd show you the life thats inside it
The way that it glows when you find it
The way it survives with its families, friends or it's enemies.
Lets make this a new world
I swear you can go if you want to
I know that you have that within you
Inventing the first great musical, god's greatest miracle.
its obvious the song's intention is about world peace. the very last 4 lines of verse its fucking gosu for me. my interpretation would be its telling us about a human's infinite potential can change the world if anyone just step up to it.
"Inventing the first great musical, god's greatest miracle."
my goodness..way too fucking good.
*say anything, but say what you mean
Thursday, August 02, 2007 @11:47 AM
Between a Man and a Woman
i remembered a few years ago i was madly in love with this particular woman. that time i was single, and i had loads of doubts and fears in my mind. like will i end up single forever, or what would i do if i got rejected or maybe even feel sad and lonely when i see other couples on the streets having fun and celebrating occasions together.
today im not single. im attached but not to that woman but to another. was it a god-sent relationship? or was it in a manner of rashness? both doesnt matter, what matters is whether you enjoy the process. yes without a doubt im full of love for this current particular woman. however the feeling when i was single cant be shaken off. its the same kind of feeling but with different thoughts like, whether you are right for her. whether you can give the best happiness in the world or whether you would ever love another. whether, you had been a good boyfriend.
i always pictured imagined that me and my partner would be more like best friends than lovey dovey kind. i wouldnt prefer those extreme feminine women or those town-girls who seek nothing but fame.
i didn expect pressure, i didn expect to be so uptight, i didn expect fear.
and now i realise, a relationship isnt as sweet as it seems. like all other matters in the world, it takes time and effort. its about compromising, learning when to keep your mouth shut and when to say the right things at the right time. its about learning to appreciate your partner's flaws and its about learning to sacrifice.
love songs are loads of crap though they sound nice. love cannot be expressed. it can only be done. the millions of "i love yous" are being said around the world every second. how many are true? how many are said for the sake of saying, how many are said just to get a woman into bed?
so overall, to me what i really feel is, if you feel unnatural or uneasy in a relationship, quit it.
time is the best judge for love, not words.
*say anything, but say what you mean