Sunday, August 12, 2007 @3:37 AM
The Darkest Period
i have 206 people on my msn contact list. but theres only 17 of them i will talk to. amazing eh. its not amazing actually, msn is actually like a photo album that you keep the old memories inside and when you feel like taking it out to look again, you will just talk to the rest of the 189 of them.
anyone noticed that once theres a funeral in your area, more will come? its a period of time when everything bad comes out at once. in other words. its the darkest period.
i would dare say since half a year ago, everything is going downhill for me. luck, academic, relationships, finance, etc. one just comes after another. its like a grim reaper telling me your fucking time on earth is up, last fucking warning for you. i dont really know why im still alive till today. im quite sure the pressure is enough to kill anyone.
number one. my typical poly day. either i decide to stay at home or go to school to give some face. if i go, i will eat my breakfast in the morning, change my clothes to something that wont make me look nerdy, plug in my walkman phone cause i cant afford a fucking mp3, take 3 bus rides that totals up to 1hr 30mins, walk into the classroom, think about what dinner will i be having later and leave the classroom without saying a single word from start till the end. okay maybe the only thing that will come out of my mouth is telling my maid what breakfast i want to eat. so i estimate i will speak less than 300 words from monday to friday. best of all im not sure if im going to make it till the diploma graduation. loneliness? nah its in the previous post, im popular as hell.
number two. my luck, in sec 3 i had my phone mysteriously disappear for no apparent reason. it was lost in a way that it seemed impossible. i choose 10 poly choices, only the last choice was tp. woah maybe i should call that lucky? i got into the last fucking possible choice that fucked my life up. then i would go on to lose 50 bucks for no apparent reason in my own home, and then later on my fucking hard earned money bought psp in my OWN BLOODY FUCKING HOME AGAIN. then somehow vegetable sauce can manage to slip into my laptop to deal permanent damage to my keyboard making my portable computer, not portable. and last wednesday my mom gave me ten bucks i placed it in my wallet, when i reach my destination HOW NICE, it was gone. i guess im the luckiest person in the world.
number three. i have never been a loser since from primary school to secondary school. im always good at things, i always manage to get my grades despite not studying, i always have friends around me to talk to, i always have somewhere to go after school, i will always win most of the time playing games, sports, etc than losing. since then, it has been a complete 180 degree switch to my life. i honestly cant adapt to living a loser life. sorta reminds me of the movie just my luck. in my own words its fuck my luck cheebye nabei.
number four. i have a quite long-time girlfriend already. everything has always been fine. somehow for no apparent reason, my parents recently seem to think my "upside down" life is due to her existence. so im like fucking trapped in the fucking middle like a tuna in a can and a bacon cheese in a sandwich. which side am i suppose to side on? what am i suppose to do? whose there to understand me or share my troubles, ask me how am i doing? whos there to give me a solution?
did i stepped on some joss paper or pee-ed somewhere without saying sorry so now some evil spirits is bent on making my life hell? whats happening? why everything is swirling around so fast that i cant catchup? why is everyone doing something that processes their life while im stuck here doing nothing? why cant i find a corner to stop and breathe in a circle?
why am i still alive?
*say anything, but say what you mean